The kids you meet at the pool

Bear with me as I attempt some humor....

Inspired by Scary Mommy's The Moms You Meet At The Pool I've racked my brain and looked around to name some of the Kids You Meet At The Pool.  Don't worry if these may apply to your kids.   Growing up around the pool I have specific examples of these kids in mind.  They all turned into very sweet and responsible teenagers and adults.

Categories are not mutually exclusive.  They can also change on a dime, as children often do.

1. The Olympian- That two year old jumping off the diving board and the swim-teamer showing off his butterfly, the Olympian can't help but impress.  Sometimes he's a show off, but most of the time he's just talented.

2. The Diner- You would think the child was starving.  This toddler sucks down four pouches AFTER lunch.  The ten year old is suddenly SO HUNGRY that he needs $20 for the snack bar.  That baby in the car seat eats at a rate of 100 Cheerios per minute.  It must be the heat.

3.  The Future Lifeguard- Stop running!  Share with him!  The pool is a kingdom and she is its queen.  The Future Lifeguard comes to the pool most days and has the lay of the land.  Sheryl Sandberg would say she is executing excellent leadership skills.

4.  The Nudist- He is usually the result of distracted overwhelmed parenting.  It turns out last year's faded yellow swimsuit is now completely sheer.  Oops.  On the way from the bathrooms, the newly potty trained toddler emerges with his trunks around his ankles. Yikes!  At the end of the day you decide to change the kids out of their suits by the side of the pool.  Three kids in a locker room? Ain't nobody got time for that! Let's just try to wrap up this phase soon.

5. The Clinger-  Just. Go. Play!  The Clinger is the toddler who won't let go of your leg or the preteen who won't go swim and let you read your book.  She's also the child, not yours, who tries to strike up a conversation with you when you want to play with your own kids.

6.  The Beekeeper- She's covered from head to toe in SPF.  If it's not covered by long sleeves, hat, and water shoes, all skin is slathered with inch-thick sunscreen.  She knows it's for her own good and doesn't mind.

7.  The Megaphone-  That loud child. The one you can hear from the parking lot.  Love him or hate her, you can't make a phone call within 50 feet of The Megaphone.  Also applies to loudly crying babies.

8.  The Beauty Queen-  She's sometimes the impeccably dressed three year-old.  Usually she's the preteen who already has a taste of middle school, complete with lip gloss and an iPhone.  The Beauty Queen rarely actually enters the pool, and definitely doesn't get her hair wet.

9.  The Fifth Wheel- We all feel for the Fifth Wheel.  He is constantly following a group from here to there, not realizing that no one is trying to find him playing Marco Polo.  Like The Clinger, he may sit quietly near the moms, not letting them get to Level 1 gossip.  The Fifth Wheel also applies to child #3 of 5 whom mom almost forgot on the way home.  Oops.

10.  The Klepto- Closely related to The Diner, he casually reaches into anyone's snack cup and helps himself to goldfish.  That shiny toy on the side of the pool?  It's his now.  Finder's keepers is the name of his game, so watch your stuff and label your toys and goggles.  He's usually too young to know what he's doing.  Hopefully the Klepto's mom checks her pool bag before heading home.

Full disclosure, my daughter was The Klepto, so watch your bag.  She's now a budding Clinger, attaching herself to other adults and their families.

Did I forget any?